


Loopholes

by Awwjeezitsamy, JohnImNotGayWatson



Series: A Thread With A Thousand Ties [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Johnlock Fluff, M/M, Sexting, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1842076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awwjeezitsamy/pseuds/Awwjeezitsamy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnImNotGayWatson/pseuds/JohnImNotGayWatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's laziness is taken to another level when he texts John in the next room.<br/>But will John's smart ass replies get them more than they bargained for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loopholes

John, pass me hydrochloric acid -SH

 

You've got two legs, Get it yourself. -JW

 

Busy -SH

 

Tough for you, I guess. -JW

 

Don't give me that look, just pass me the bottle -SH

 

Not a chance. -JW

 

Must you be quite so infuriating? -SH

 

Me? When you get the milk, I'll start doing things for you. Until then, Tough luck. -JW

 

I'll get you milk tomorrow, I need hydrochloric acid now! -SH

 

Not a chance. -JW

 

But John! -SH

 

No, Don't 'but' me, Sherlock. You have two perfectly adequate legs. -JW

 

As do you, and you know me John, I utilize my resources -SH

 

Nice to know that that's all I am to you. Really feeling the love. -JW

 

You want love John?... Well then get me my acid -SH

 

Wow, I didn't think you were that easy. -JW

 

Nevermind forget I said that. -JW

 

What's that supposed to mean? -SH

 

What's what supposed to mean? -JW

 

That I am, as you say, "easy" -SH

 

I never said that. Get your own acid. -JW

 

Yes you did, you said "I didn't think you were that easy". -SH

 

No, I didn't and your pretty arse can't prove it. -JW

 

Now now Doctor Watson, anyone would think you'd been looking. -SH

And judging by the blush on your cheeks, you have! -SH

 

I have not. Why ever would you say that? -JW

 

Because...

I...

Caught...

You...

Looking...

-SH

 

No you didn't! You're always turned around. -JW

 

I didn't just say that. -JW

 

So if I were to turn around, I would catch you, correct? -SH

 

What are you insinuating, Holmes? -JW

 

Come one, John, I think even you can work this one out -SH

 

Enlighten me. -JW

 

Get me the acid and I might tell you -SH

 

Why should I? -JW

 

Because you want to know what I know -SH

 

Hey! I saw that, don't roll your eyes at my text. -JW

 

And you shot me the bird, lets not be petty -SH

 

Says the consulting 5 year old. -JW

 

Consulting 5 year old whose arse you just love -SH

 

Hey, There's something we both agree on! -JW

 

I think there is a lot more than that John. You do realise that my acknowledgment of your appreciation of my arse, was not an invitation for you to touch it -SH

 

You know you wanted me to, Sherlock. Don't deny it. -JW

 

Did you have to grab it quite to hard? -SH

 

I hear no denying it. -JW

 

I didn't say I didn't love it -SH

 

I'm assuming you wouldn't mind if I did it again? -JW

 

Hey you, I didn't say yes yet -SH

 

Oh shut up. It was written all over your face. -JW

 

Maybe you should do it one more time, just to make sure I like it. -SH

 

Go get the milk, and I'll consider it. -JW

 

What if I did this? -SH

 

Sticking out your arse? I never knew you were capable of it, Holmes. -JW

 

Don't pretend you don't love it Watson. -SH

 

Who said I was pretending? The view is great from back here. -JW

 

Mind returning the favour? You're not so bad yourself  
-SH

 

I think I just might. Let me get this book on the floor and pick it up. -JW

 

It took you an awful long time to pick that up -SH

 

It was quite heavy. There's your stupid acid. -JW

 

Oh, playing ball now? Anyone would think you wanted something. -SH

 

And If I did? What of it? -JW

 

I can do nothing unless I know what it is -SH

 

Oh sure you can. Deduce me, Clever boy. -JW 

 

Well, you want me, that's for sure. -SH

 

No shit, Sherlock. -JW 

 

Ok, I can do this. You liked it when bent over. -SH

You like me to tease you -SH

 

Do go on, Love. And don't concentrate to hard, you may have an aneurysm. That didn't turn out to well for that cabbie. -JW

 

I think the bullet hole did a worse job on him.  
I can do this, give me a minute -SH

 

Tick tock, tick tock. -JW

 

Don't try me Doctor Wastson -SH

Aha! You blushed! -SH

You like to show your dominance -SH

 

Indeed I do. I might just have to show you sometime. -JW

 

Maybe I'll let you. But for now, I'm going to let you wait -SH

 

And I thought I was a tease! That's not fair. -JW

 

Me? A tease? How could you ever think that? -SH

Oh damn, I spilled water on my shirt, you don't mind if I take it off do you? -SH

 

Oh, No, Go ahead. What are flatmates for? I'll give it a wash for you. -JW

 

No no, you keep your hands to yourself there. I need to finish my experiment, I'll get a clean shirt when I am done -SH

 

With your nose stuck in your phone? Sure. -JW

 

I'll have you know, Doctor Watson, that I have many skills that you don't know about -SH

Yet! -SH

 

Yet? That sounds promising. Show me a few. -JW

 

Now, wouldn't that be giving the game away? -SH

 

No, I think, It'd be starting it. -JW

 

Oh, John, the game started a long time ago. -SH

 

Oh really? -JW

 

Might I refer back to that first night in this room, your pulse raced, your cheeks flush and I had barely begun. So yes John, really. -SH

 

Smart arse. Now I feel like Adler. -JW

 

But you know the difference between you and her? -SH

 

Well, I should hope so, after all I am a doctor, but please, do tell. -JW

 

She couldn't make me beg for mercy... -SH

 

And I'd do it again. -JW

 

And I'd let you -SH

 

Of course you would. You need someone to yank your chain. -JW

 

Wouldn't you just love to do that -SH

 

I have already. -JW

 

Come now, don't be shy, when was this? -SH

 

The second you grabbed my phone that day in St. Barts. -JW

 

You had no effect on me what so ever -SH

 

What did I say about lying to me, Holmes? Hm? -JW

 

You said nothing of the sort -sh

 

I am now. Next time I hear a lie, I shall call Mrs. Hudson up here and let her make us tea and have a nice chat. -JW

 

I shall strip down naked and lay on the sofa, that usually puts off a lingering guest -SH

 

I can always just go down to her flat, No matter how much that other option sounds appealing. -JW

 

I might just do that now -SH

In fact, I shall, look away -SH

 

I'll do nothing of the sort. -JW

 

Yes you shall. Doctor Watson face the wall -SH

 

You'll have to come over here and make me, If you think you can. -JW

 

Fine then, I shall, keep your hands to yourself though -SH

Hey now, was that keeping your hands to yourself? -SH

 

Technically I didn't touch you, A pillow did! -JW

You never said anything about other things. -JW

 

You're looking again, turn around, you may accidentally see something you'll love -SH

 

I took a picture of your arse. Hope you don't mind. -JW

 

I very much do, why did you do that? -SH

 

To save it for...Later. -JW

 

Are you going to post it on the internet and make a mockery of me? -SH

 

Oh no no no, It's for my own fun. -JW

 

Oh, I see -SH

Apologies -SH

Do carry on -SH

Shall I pose? -SH

 

Do whatever you like. -JW

 

I feel like I am putting in all the effort. So, Doctor Watson, I shall go for a shower, see you in a few. -SH

I'm not saying anything more but... This is a camera phone -SH

 

I can join if you like. -JW

 

Oh no, that would be far too much fun for you. -SH

 

Surely the great Sherlock Holmes needs to have some fun? -JW

 

Believe me, this is fun for me. I want to see you sweat, see you on the edge of insanity, just wanting me -SH

 

You are so infuriating! Maybe I'll call on Sarah? -JW

 

No you won't, you're not going to move from that spot until I say so. -SH

 

But Sherlock! -JW

 

But nothing John, all you have to do is wait and then you'll get what you want -SH

 

Fine! Afghanistan was easier than this. -JW

 

And just like Afghanistan, you get me at the end of it -SH

 

You better hurry up and get back in here or I am going to go nuts -JW

 

*UPLOADING PHOTO* Does this help at all? -SH

 

Is that a tattoo that close to your penis? It is! -JW

 

How very observant, I had rather hoped there was something else you'd be a little more interested in though, John -SH

 

Sorry, sorry, The tattoo threw me off. I am about to come in there. I feel like a bloody teenager. -JW

 

And as a teenager, you must have had to control yourself. Can you do that, for me? -SH

 

Why are you doing this to me?! -JW

 

Because John, I like it -SH

 

I'm fixing to burst through that door, Holmes. -JW

 

Down boy, don't get too ahead of yourself. *UPLOADING PHOTO* -SH

 

You're driving me mad! -JW

 

Show me how mad I'm making you -SH

 

Oh I think I will... *UPLOADING PHOTO* -JW

 

Wow, that's impressive. You certainly want something. Just going to get dressed, try and cool yourself down there Doctor -SH

 

At least let me get up and walk it off? -JW

 

I said stay where you are -SH

 

I can't. Why are you taking your time?! -JW

 

Have you not deduced what I like yet? -SH

 

I think I got the hint, thanks. You really like control and knowing you can make someone crumble to pieces at your hands. -JW

 

Well then you've answered your own question. I'm re-dressed. All I shall do it come downstairs and kiss you, no more, now less. Don't react, don't touch, say nothing -SH

 

You can't just do that! -JW

 

I can, and I will -SH

 

No, no. I refuse. -JW

 

Too late, I'm doing it -SH

 

You are cruel, Sherlock. -JW

 

You're an excellent kisser, John -SH

 

Just you wait, Sherlock. Just you wait, I'm going to get you back for this. -JW

 

No you won't! Now take your shirt off -SH

 

Do your worst, Holmes. -JW

 

Take it off, Watson -SH

 

I'm going to get you. Fine fine, I'm taking it off. -JW

 

Slowly -SH

 

So controlling. -JW

 

And you love it. Now, trousers off -SH

 

Yes sir. -JW

 

You can kiss me, once, on the cheek -SH

 

Seriously? The cheek? Fine. -JW

 

That was nice, though did I say anything about grabbing my arse? -SH

 

You didn't say anything about touching you. Loopholes, Clever boy. -JW

 

The hand down my underwear may have broken the loophole -SH

 

Nope, You said 'One kiss on the cheek' nothing about touching you. Make it more specific next time, smart arse. -JW

 

OK, for that, you can wait five minutes while I make tea -SH

 

It was so worth it. -JW

 

OK then John, if you're so eager, you can take off my shirt now -SH

 

Yes sir. -JW

 

You've gone red -SH

 

Quit deducing me, Holmes. -JW

 

Biting your lip -SH

 

I'll show you biting your lip. How was THAT for kissing? -JW

 

Um, yes, good. Very good -SH

 

Wow, well, please don't catch me so off-guard next time -SH

 

Noted. -JW

 

Now, Doctor Watson, your waiting is over. Send me one last text, you get one word, just to tell me what you want, then out your phone away -SH

 

You. -JW

 

Good boy -SH

**Author's Note:**

> Once again:  
> Awwjeezitsamy -SH  
> JohnImNotGayWatson -JW  
> This was so much fun to write, and I just love some of the smooth ass lines we managed to come up with!


End file.
